Regaining Your Partner’s Trust

We’ve heard it all before, the people we hurt are always the ones that we love. When we’re in a romantic relationship, we’re not only opening our doors for the good times, but with those good times, almost always come with it, the bad times. When we invest ourselves to someone, we’re actually giving them the opportunity to both love and hurt us. It’s always the people we love whom we get hurt from the most.

If you’re the one who committed the mistake, it’s not the end of the world. Yes, if it were you, it would be hard to forgive. When our loved ones hurt us, the pain can sometimes be too much to bear. So if you’re the one that caused the pain, fixing the emotional wounds that you caused may be a very scary thing, due to your fear of rejection. But if you really care about your partner, this fear is nothing, compared to the loss that you might go through when you don’t act at all.

The very first thing that you should do when you’ve hurt your loved one is to apologize. Say sorry and show him or her that you’re sincere by not only verbally saying it, but by doing something. Act in a way that shows how sorry you are. Saying it once when you get caught is not enough. A sincere apology is one when your partner doesn’t ask for it. Once your partner gives you a chance, explain the reason behind your behavior. Making your partner understand why you did the things that you did is essential for better understanding. But do not make excuses and do not blame your partner. You can say, “I lied to you about losing my job because I did not want you to get worried.” And not, “I lied about losing my job because you put too much pressure on me to provide for you.” The latter is blaming the other person for your behavior, while the former shows concern. Still, there’s always no excuse for lying.

Lying is lying, period.

Once your partner has given you the opportunity to explain, always promise that the behavior will not occur again. And once you made the promise, always follow through by actually doing it. Do not make the same mistake again. Correct your behavior by doing the right thing. But do not overcompensate. Just because you promised to be truthful, it doesn’t mean you have to report every single detail to your partner. Act in the same way as you acted before, but without the lying part.

Regaining a loved one’s trust is not easy and even though the person seems to have forgiven you, there’s always an underlying thought that you might screw up again. So be patient. It takes time to forgive and forget. But it will be worth