Many women feel like meeting Mr. Right after age forty is like trying to find the old proverbial “needle in a haystack”. As a woman who married for the first time at age 43, I understand it can be frustrating, discouraging and disheartening, to say the least. However, many women out there are finding great happiness and love later in life. If this is something you desire, it is not only possible, but even likely that you can find a satisfying and joyful relationship. From the point of view of someone who has been on both sides of this dilemma, here are some reasons you may actually be more likely to find true love after 40 than you were in your 20’s or 30’s.
1) You Know Who You Are.
Many women are still figuring out what makes them tick and establishing their identity in their 20’s and 30’s. By the time most women reach their 40’s, they have a better understanding of themselves. This brings a sense of clarity about preferences, strengths, and vulnerabilities.
2) You Know What You Want.
By the time many women reach 40, they have been in relationships with different kinds of men. They may have experienced the good, the bad, the ugly, and the Bureau’s Ten Most (un)Wanted. Often wisdom is born of experience. Of course, experience is the thing that you don’t get until just after you needed it. But once it does come, it brings with it the refinement of those qualities that attract you to potential partners, and a greater knowledge of what is acceptable and what is not. Let your family and friends know what kind of man you would like to meet. They may know someone just right for you.
3) You Have the Quality that is Most Irresistible: Confidence.
A woman with true confidence is alluring at any age. While life can take its toll on your confidence, overcoming challenges and difficulties in your life can also help you to feel more confidence in yourself as you triumph over them.
4) The Shortage of Good Men is a Myth.
It can feel like “all the good ones are taken”, but in reality there are many eligible men out there. However, it is helpful to put yourselves in situations where the odds are favorable in terms of the ratio of men to women. Professional business meetings and seminars, sporting events, and trade shows can be great places to meet men. Breaking out of your normal routine can open new possibilities to meet someone. After all, if you’re shopping for a tennis racquet in a bedding store, it does little good to complain to the management about the shortage of inventory. Get thee to a sporting goods shop!
5) You Have the Wisdom and Experience to Recognize a Good Man When You See One.
Many women have to try out a relationship with a “bad boy” somewhere along the way. Ok, you’ve done that and found out that he went from zero to sixty like a dream but couldn’t be relied on for the long haul. Where younger women might swoon, you now have the wisdom to give certain kinds of men a pass. Most women have learned through experience that there is a lot of good to be said about a “really nice guy”. Many women can now appreciate the “kinder, gentler” qualities of a good man that may not have seemed as exciting earlier on.
6) You Have Gained Emotional Intelligence.
This balance of reason and emotion can be very helpful in a mature relationship. When you are able to balance your heart and your head you can make better decisions in relationships with men. At this point in life, you have learned how to care for yourself and don’t expect any one person to fulfill all of your needs for you.
7) Whether You’re Aging More or Less Gracefully, Your Other Attractive Attributes are Likely Shining Brightly.
Many women in their 40’s and 50’s look fabulous these days. Even if you don’t feel like this is true for you, you have likely developed a strong sense of style and confidence that can be very attractive to men. You can likely carry on intriguing conversations with a man because of your valuable and interesting life experiences and insights.
8) You Have Much More Control Over Your Own Destiny Then it May Seem.
This is an area for some self-reflection and honesty. Many women say they want to be in a committed relationship, yet when they get in touch with their true feelings there is often some ambivalence around this. Perhaps you have been hurt or disappointed and feel extremely cautious about opening your heart again. Perhaps you really like having the freedom and flexibility that comes with being on your own. Perhaps you like your routine and lifestyle and don’t want to compromise to accommodate someone else. While all of this is understandable, it is a choice. It is also a choice to decide to put yourself out there in a way that creates opportunities to meet someone and be willing to open your heart to them. Many women who have found love later in life have had to clear some of these obstacles out of their way to make it possible for them to have the relationship they so deeply desire.
9) The Internet has Created a Whole New World for Networking and Meeting Other People.
While common sense and safety cannot be stressed enough here, the Internet is a way to meet and connect with interesting people you likely would have never crossed paths with otherwise. The days of the Internet being a “last resort” in the quest for finding a mate are long gone, as now over 20% of all relationships start online.
10) Love Can Be More Satisfying and Meaningful Than It Was When You Were Younger.
When you find love later in life, you recognize what a gift and blessing it is. You are less likely to take your partner or the relationship for granted. Love at any age can bring much joy and happiness, but for those who find it later in life it is something truly to be cherished.
Real love is still possible, perhaps even probable for you!