You have been single for a while now even though you have been casually dating on and off but you have reached the point where you have a strong desire to get into a relationship. What questions should you ask yourself to determine if you are ready for a new relationship?
1. Am I happy and fulfilled as a person? Do not look for a partner so that they can make you happy or fulfilled as a person or to make you anything that you are not. If you want a partner so that they can heal your hurts or help you deal with your poor self-esteem or make you feel better as a human being then you are not ready for a new relationship. A healthy relationship should be between two emotionally whole individuals who come together to build something that is bigger than the sum of them in a relationship.
2. Am I fully engaged in doing what I enjoy? If you are moping around and not living your life to the full until you get into a relationship then you are clearly not ready for a relationship. A relationship should find you fully engaged in life instead of it being the reason why you live. If you have put your life on hold until you get into a new relationship then you will tend to exert too much pressure on the relationship and on the man and sooner or later he will feel smothered and run.
3. Am I at peace with my past relationships? Do any of your past relationships still affect how you live today? Are you insecure because an old boyfriend cheated on you? Do you believe in your heart-of-hearts that all men have certain negative traits? Have you cast all men in one negative cast? If you have then you are not ready for a new relationship. To get into a new relationship you need to find a way to finish with each of your past relationships. If you have an ex who still affects you emotionally today then you must of necessity find a way to let them go. If you need professional help…get it. Do not carry baggage from one relationship to another or else you are setting yourself up for relationship failure. It is unfair on your new relationship and your new man to have to deal with negativity that he did not create or have anything to do with. A new relationship has enough challenges without you bringing in the added baggage of your past boyfriends.
If you can honestly answer these 3 key questions then you can tell if you are ready for a new relationship. You have to start a new relationship with a great attitude and with minimal baggage.