Sometimes we fall out with friends. There may have been a disagreement, a misunderstanding, or we both feel sure that we are right and the other is mistaken in some way. I am a big advocate of keeping only positive people in our lives and feel strongly that it is important to sometimes clear out negative and destructive relationships from our inner circle.
Sometimes, though, it can be appropriate to heal friendships whilst, at the same time, recognising and acknowledging what has happened between us.
Let’s look at some of the reasons to heal the friendship:
– It can be stimulating to have people with different attitudes and outlooks in our lives. Yes, it can be very cosy, having lots of people with similar lifestyles and outlooks with whom we meet regularly, but different people add another dimension to the conversation. They may challenge our thought processes and bring other viewpoints into the arena.
– Just because there has been a falling out does not mean that the relationship is irreparable. Two people can be good, nice people, yet still have a disagreement. Sometimes a relationship can be retrieved, maybe in a slightly different way, but it can be recovered and still be a part of our lives.
– Learning to handle disharmony in relationships is an important life lesson for everyone. Maybe reflecting on the importance that the friendship has had until now, talking through the different issues or perhaps instead agreeing to disagree and moving on from them can be a useful skill to learn for other life situations.
– Often our individual friends are a part of our bigger circle of friends. Falling out with one friend can put a strain on the group dynamic as people struggle to either remain neutral or find themselves drawn into the dispute. Trying to see the bigger picture can sometimes help to put minor issues into perspective. There are two sides to any disagreement, both with their own validity. Deciding if it is really worth the ensuing tension can help put arguments into perspective.
– Life is too short. In the grand scheme of things how relevant is it to stick to our point of view and remain aggrieved? If we heard that the other person had problems, was ill or had encountered some misfortune would we still feel as annoyed with them? Pondering the answer to that question can be helpful.
– Learning to be aware of warning signs in the future with relationships can be valuable. Reflecting on what went wrong from our personal point of view can help us to be aware of similar situations developing in the future. Then we can learn to spot the signals and determine to handle them more constructively whenever they occur. We can protect ourselves, but look to maintain our friendships at the same time.
Relationships often require an element of compromise and negotiation in order to support each others needs and personalities. It is important to respect one’s own integrity but at the same time, there are often valid reasons to consider the bigger picture and find a middle ground in order to build successful friendships and relationships with others.